Wading through, looking back.

I've got my protocol off to the research ethics committee. I can breathe a sigh of relief... at least until it comes back with comments.

By the time I did a final check and proofread, I could trace a nice neat journey from the quagmire of poorly articulated ideas where I had started to my nice neat protocol. I could tell a lovely, clear story of why everything is as it is. 

The only problem is that it wasn't a nice neat journey at all. I guess it couldn't be. I didn't have a final destination in mind when I started, just a set of things that needed finding out about. I hadn't even got a clear picture of what needed finding out, let alone how to do the research.

I started in an ill-defined, gloopy, shape-shifting quagmire where nothing was clear and every choice seemed to depend on other equally unclear choices.

I read, thought, talked, argued and, as I did, multiple options began to take shape in front of me. Possibly the most helpful thought as I darted all over the place was that sometimes it's not about justifying why we chose one approach or method, but justifying why we could reject the others. I think that's what finally stopped me vacillating between the options.

It is ultimately so satisfying to feel I have lined up a solid set of choices that work for me at every level: they work for my company partner, they work for a higher degree requirements, they work for the particular thing I'm investigating and - most importantly for my pleasure in this research - the methods and methodology line up nicely with my ontology so it no longer feels as if I'm trying to squeeze square pegs into round holes.

Looking back, I feel a bit like a pilgrim who has made it through the swamp and now surveys the path of their own making. Which is fine, as long as I don't see the tracks I made and believe I must have walked a pre-existent path.

And that is how this research will continue; wading through, looking back at the path I've created.Some journeys are all about the destination. Research has to involve describing the route, if only so people can make sense of your destination.

I think my greatest challenge will be keeping an accurate(ish) record of the wading through. So many dead ends, so many inter-related thoughts, so much serendipity. How to tell what's relevant and needs recording from what is flotsam? But if I wait until I'm out the other side to record things, I will never be able to remember the wading through. 

That's where my lovely A3 drawing pad comes into its own - and my essential cafe sessions. By doodling, drawing and scribbling, I have a snapshot of each stage of developing ideas. 

I'm still wondering how to apply that to my reading, reflecting and writing of other people's writings. If I find an answer that works for me, you will be the first to know!