I don't like too much change (I'm autistic) but I can't tolerate the boredom of everything being the same (ADHD). There's a sweet spot where there's just enough of the right sort of change.
I don't think we hit that spot in 2022.
I started the year looking forward to getting back to training for Masters Olympic weightlifting competitions on the international stage. I started the year with huge plans to change the world with NeuDICE (Neurodivergent and inclusive community of entrepreneurs).
January: fell off horse, concussion. Also got confirmation that I'm officially autistic.
January to now: working through the emotions of being officially autistic.
February: I got in one training session post-concussion and then a 9 day hospital admission for something neurological that we never got to the bottom of. However, they found an incidental brain aneurysm that means I won't be going back to strength training unless I have a death wish. Incidental means I'd not have known if they hadn't done scans to see why I was so ill, and it was nothing to do with why I was so ill.
February to August: rehabbing my brain to get back my balance and ability to focus.
February to now: one minor illness after another (including a doozy of a month with sinustitus, covid, sinusitus), often with asthma deteriorating and needing oral steroids, sometimes requiring antibiotics. Back to the GP today, and they actually want to see me in person.
June: I became an Ecwiti award holder. That's the highlight of the year.
This is also the year that our eldest son left Swansea to go back to the north where he'd grown up and got a great job. He has a lovely partner too.
NeuDICE is looking a bit different and is taking longer to get started. Launch is booked for March 2023. But I started another company in April, PinkGold Ltd, and I've earned a bit of money that way. My second intern starts in January.
Last month I bit the bullet and hired a virtual assistant for just 5 hours a week and engaged a bookkeeper for PinkGold. I'm still getting used to that and still haven't provided all the past receipts and invoices that the bookkeeper needs - at least I don't think so.
I've been in and out of having a home office, depending which child is home and for how long. I've got a desk in a coworking space now, but my health means I'm not getting in very often.
This week I was awarded support from Access To Work. That has tipped me over the edge.
- It's major change and not totally under my control.
- It requires me to accept that, in the world's eyes (or at least in DWP's eyes) I really am *that* broken. I've been awarded a substantial number of hours of support in addition to some equipment. The equipment is great. But I wasn't expecting they would think I needed so much human support. I'm glad I already have a VA to do some of the leg work to make changes happen. And I'm hugely glad that Michelle from This Is Me agency has my back (and my ATW paperwork)
- I've now got to get my head round how to run a business in a way that makes best use of the support. As someone whose skill set does not include people management or planning my work in a way that makes me accountable to others, that's frankly terrifying.
I'm grateful for all the supportive people around me who see the side I'm not seeing right now. The strong, influential woman, forging a way through difficult terrain that others have said is impenetrable to make it easier for others to do the work of clearing a comfortable, even path for others. It's not easy trying to change the world age 58 with ongoing health limitations.
I will never know how much of my refusal to give up is down to personality, how much is upbringing and how much is because I'm autistic and ADHD. But the bottom line is that ///
I am Anne.
2022 was and is a tough and unexpected year. But I'm still inching forward to the goal of a world where there are no additional barriers to starting a business just because you don't fit someone's idea of what a business person should look, sound, think or work like.
I don't believe in fortune telling. However, I am confident that in 2023 Anne will continue to be Anne which means progress will be made towards that goal.
[and it's time to update the blurb about me. Still middleaged, still a mum, but everything else has changed!]
