We all have a personal identity - how we see ourselves.
And then we have a social identity - how we are seen and the roles we play in relation to others.
If we are very lucky, there is a good deal of overlap.
I'm one of the Women's Equality Network (WEN) mentees for 2020, and I've been taking the opportunity to try to develop a professional identity that sits comfortably with who I am and what I want to achieve.
It's been a bit of a Goldilocks experience. First I was too focused on how I want others to see me. Then I was too focused on how I see myself. And - finally - I think I've got it just right.
I am me. Being me is enough. I do not need to try to develop a 'not-me' persona for the sake of making others more comfortable around me, or getting public appointments. Who I am is enough for me, and it is the best that I can offer others.
It comes down to silly things, superficial things.
- I knew I wanted to change how I dress and present myself, because I wasn't feeling the confident, professional person I wanted to be. And that was a good judgement call on my part. But... I thought that meant a suit and makeup. It doesn't. For me, it means a shaved head and rainbow stitched soft leather Doc Martins, with whatever clothing is suitable for the weather hanging comfortably and confidently in between. It's my Welshflier identity.
- I thought my welshflier@ email address looked childish and would put off anyone recruiting for strategic professional roles. So I created a new 'proper professional adult' one. That wasn't a success. I *am* my digital identity - I *am* Welshflier. So if the name doesn't fit, it's a good indication that neither would I.
I poured everything into trying to construct a professional persona that I thought would get me where I want to be. It sucked the life out of my soul, which I am sure showed through in the applications which were not successful.
This is where being on the WEN mentoring scheme helped. I have learned to own my identity as Welshflier. It means I can be confidently me, knowing that 'me' is an incredible patchwork of strengths and flaws, all woven together.
And so I applied for another public appointment, but this time as myself. As I thought how to present 'the real me' in the application, I might as well have been singing along to 'This is me' with the cast of The Greatest Showman.
The days of being an unhappy chameleon, unsuccessfully trying to adapt myself to make others comfortable are over. Long live Welshflier!
Fortunately, part of 'me being me' is a desire for others to shine and grow, so I like to think I won't do too much damage by being me. If anything, I may be less socially inept than when I was trying to be what I'm not.
I needed a head and shoulders shot for someone. Can't say why yet! But let's just say that being me paid off and my application as myself was successful. I almost rushed round the house looking for a smart jacket so I'd 'look the part'. Fortunately I caught myself in time. And so, this is me.
