Messages to humans from our robot overlords: knowledge, culture, university, community, exchange

With thanks to the author, editor and proofreader, Hannah Retallick, for the title of this blog series. 

In another life, Hannah is part of my team of virtual assistants. Her unenviable task is to help me focus each morning and do the essential business admin that I'd otherwise forget. 

Image was ai generated in Canva

This week I attended an online workshop at the International Creative Research Methods Conference. It was about the use of generative ai in qualitative data analysis. It was led by Christina Silver and sparked many thoughts I have yet to process. 

It also sparked idle curiosity. What would happen if I gave the same prompt to four different versions of (free) ai? What kind of biases might be implicit? Do they all have a similar bias?

I thought I'd start with five words that are significant for PinkGold Ltd and ask the versions of ai to write me a paragraph. 

Here's what I got. I added the bold because I got lost in the verbage and wanted to make words stand out that I thought were significant. I have include a comment in a box below each one. 

Canva MagicWrite

Universities serve as vibrant hubs where knowledge and culture intersect, fostering a rich community of intellectual exchange. Within their walls, diverse groups of students, faculty, and staff come together, each contributing unique perspectives and experiences. This confluence of ideas and backgrounds creates a dynamic environment that encourages learning beyond textbooks. Cultural events, academic discussions, and collaborative projects are just a few ways through which knowledge is shared and expanded. The university setting not only promotes the accumulation of academic knowledge but also cultivates a deeper understanding and appreciation of different cultures, preparing individuals to thrive in an increasingly interconnected world.

Community is only mentioned in relation to the university and occurs ‘within their walls’. However, it does recognise cultural exchange within the university can equip those in the university to thrive outside it. 

 

Claude.ai

Universities serve as vibrant hubs where knowledge and culture intersect, fostering a unique community of diverse minds. Within these academic environments, students and faculty engage in a constant exchange of ideas, experiences, and perspectives. This intellectual cross-pollination not only enhances individual learning but also contributes to the broader cultural fabric of society. As students from various backgrounds come together, they create a microcosm of global society, where different worldviews coalesce and new understandings emerge. Through this dynamic interplay of knowledge sharing and cultural exchange, universities play a crucial role in shaping informed, empathetic citizens who are well-equipped to address the complex challenges of our interconnected world.

Community is within the university, but with the explicit purpose of students taking their new understandings into the wider world as ‘empathetic citizens’.

 

Copilot

At the heart of every university lies a vibrant community where knowledge and culture intertwine seamlessly. Students and faculty engage in a dynamic exchange of ideas, fostering an environment that celebrates diversity and intellectual growth. This exchange not only broadens perspectives but also enriches the cultural fabric of the university, creating a space where everyone can learn from one another and contribute to a shared understanding of the world.

And another where community only relates to the university.

 

ChatGPT

At the heart of every vibrant university lies a rich exchange of knowledge and culture that fuels both academic and personal growth within the community. Students and faculty engage in dynamic conversations, blending diverse perspectives and experiences that enhance their understanding of the world. This interplay of ideas not only broadens individual horizons but also strengthens the collective fabric of the university, fostering an environment where innovation and empathy thrive. Through cultural events, collaborative research, and open dialogue, the university becomes a microcosm of global interconnectedness, where the synergy of knowledge and cultural diversity creates a thriving academic community.

Oh look! And another that only talks about community within the university. So similar in wording and yet so far removed from the Claude.ai where the purpose is a thriving global community.

 

Take-away message for humans

Given the same prompts, the different robot overlords will deliver overlapping wordings – but with very different messages at their heart.

Three out of four reference community solely within the university.

Only one recognises the role of the university in the community beyond its walls.

Enjoy playing with ai - but remember, the robot overlords may not have our best interests at heart...

If you've got ideas for other prompts to do with universities, research, coproduction, knowledge mobilisation and similar - drop a comment below and I'll see what I can do.

Ways to organise life - a work in progress

I have tried and broken every system (paper, digital, apps, human) that I have tried in my attempt to organise my life.

Why keep trying? 

Because I need a way to keep tabs on all the areas of life to prevent myself being overwhelmed, losing things and burning out. 

Why do I keep breaking systems?

I'm neurodivergent. I am unique in my experience of neurodivergence (we all are). As I understand how my brain categorises, processes and observes/creates patterns I am starting to see why I break systems designed for other people using other people's ways of categorising, processing and making sense of things. 

Copyright is c/o Rachel Hughes, dotiau. Image created by her daughter

What is currently working for me?

I currently categorise tasks by type of thinking required. Anything about urgency or importance or area of life or length of task is secondary.

• Mull - reflective, creative work
• Schedule - big things that will require a block of time and some thought
• Do - tasks that require no thought (it's already be done) and everything is to hand.

Here's an example:

• Mull: how can I find a way to organise life that works with me rather than me forcing myself into it?
• Schedule: 'Work on being organised'
• Do: 1. Create new tags on Ayoa* for mull, schedule, do 2. Add tag to all tasks

I have just added a fourth category of thinking: pottering. More on that later.

Having added tags on Ayoa, it is easy to use the 'filter' to see only tasks with that tag. 

So if I'm in a particular mood or have scheduled time for a type of thinking, I can see just the options that need that type of thinking. 

Ayoa also has lighting flash and flag symbols I can use to give an indication of urgency/importance, so I've got that at a glance too. 

For me, doing one thinking type at a time works so much better than doing one project at a time. 

About pottering

This isn't a tag that can be attached to tasks or projects. It is a wonderful state of being where I have zero expectations of myself and I simply wander round the house or office doing bits that I feel like doing. I need to protect these times by scheduling nothing and having no deliberate purpose a few times a month. 

It's very relaxing and 'non-productive'. [The reality is that it is extremely non-productive in a non-linear and unfocused way. After a scheduled pottering time, I feel so relaxed and the next Friday 8.30am with the wonderful Hannah Retallick, I discover that I can update or archive a vast number of tasks on the Ayoa boards - without having tried or been intentional]

 *Ayoa is software designed by and for neurodivergent people. Well worth the outlay for Ayoa Ultimate in my experience. It is transforming my ability to be organised, plan and collaborate. I'm not sponsored by them (!) but they did grant me a free licence as I was trying to get started with NeuDICE CIC.   

Today I did not fail

Update on I will always fail

I have been continuing to fail for the last four years. 

I still spend a lot of time feeling vulnerable. Often it is because I am deliberately *making* myself vulnerable because I have enough privileges in life to make it less dangerous for me than it would be for many others. I have privileges like a great support network, strong personal faith, I'm White, my first language is English, I have had immense educational privileges. 

One of the ways I knowingly make myself vulnerable is when I choose to take something on knowing I will fail. I do it because each person who chips away at an issue brings the day closer when someone can tackle the issue and succeed. But it is difficult. At best, I feel like the fool in Shakespeare or the jester in the medieval court - someone not taken seriously or seen as a bit of a 'pet' or an eccentric but as a consequence is able to say things to someone in power that others could not safely say. At its hardest, I get sacked, marginalised, excluded and bad-mouthed as disruptive and difficult. And, being fair, both stories about me are true. I can be all those things. 

Last night, I had one of those moments where I realise how much burden I have carried over decades of being the difficult one, the fool, the distruptor. 

I received an email that almost broke me for a moment. And it wasn't one that added to the burden. It was one that made me aware of the accumulated burden because - for the first time - I felt fully seen and my role within a complex team genuinely valued. 

I hadn't expected the strong emotions - or as my occupational therapist and a friend with a younger child puts it 'big feelings'. My interoception and alexithymia are improving. I can't thank the NHS, friends and a book by Niamh Garvey enough for that. I can know recognise I am having a 'big feeling' and have tools to help me sit with the big feelings and gently explore what they may be and be curious about what made them such big feelings. That's another blog completely, one I haven't yet written. 

One tool I use is seeing if I can identify a time my body had a similar feeling. The only time my body had a similar feeling was when I won gold medal in the Welsh Open over-94kg* Olympic Weightlifting competition and stepped out to receive the medal. At that moment, I realised the burden I had carried all those years of traumatic school PE lessons and my scared, defient, bullied, eczema-covered, obese 12 year old self who had lied that she didn't care because she was a weightlifter. 

So today I am savouring the moment and feeling able to gently put to rest the stories of the past and add a new story. 

Today, I relax in knowing that, on this occasion, I did not fail.

* if you are curious, over 94kg is the athlete's weight, not the weight they lift. And an Open means people of any age from anywhere in the world can compete. I was 54 years old.

2022

 I don't like too much change (I'm autistic) but I can't tolerate the boredom of everything being the same (ADHD). There's a sweet spot where there's just enough of the right sort of change.

I don't think we hit that spot in 2022. 

I started the year looking forward to getting back to training for Masters Olympic weightlifting competitions on the international stage. I started the year with huge plans to change the world with NeuDICE (Neurodivergent and inclusive community of entrepreneurs). 

January: fell off horse, concussion. Also got confirmation that I'm officially autistic. 

January to now: working through the emotions of being officially autistic.

February: I got in one training session post-concussion and then a 9 day hospital admission for something neurological that we never got to the bottom of. However, they found an incidental brain aneurysm that means I won't be going back to strength training unless I have a death wish. Incidental means I'd not have known if they hadn't done scans to see why I was so ill, and it was nothing to do with why I was so ill. 

February to August: rehabbing my brain to get back my balance and ability to focus. 

February to now: one minor illness after another (including a doozy of a month with sinustitus, covid, sinusitus), often with asthma deteriorating and needing oral steroids, sometimes requiring antibiotics. Back to the GP today, and they actually want to see me in person. 

June: I became an Ecwiti award holder. That's the highlight of the year. 

This is also the year that our eldest son left Swansea to go back to the north where he'd grown up and got a great job. He has a lovely partner too. 

NeuDICE is looking a bit different and is taking longer to get started. Launch is booked for March 2023. But I started another company in April, PinkGold Ltd, and I've earned a bit of money that way. My second intern starts in January.

Last month I bit the bullet and hired a virtual assistant for just 5 hours a week and engaged a bookkeeper for PinkGold. I'm still getting used to that and still haven't provided all the past receipts and invoices that the bookkeeper needs - at least I don't think so. 

I've been in and out of having a home office, depending which child is home and for how long. I've got a desk in a coworking space now, but my health means I'm not getting in very often. 

This week I was awarded support from Access To Work. That has tipped me over the edge. 

1. It's major change and not totally under my control. 
2. It requires me to accept that, in the world's eyes (or at least in DWP's eyes) I really am *that* broken. I've been awarded a substantial number of hours of support in addition to some equipment. The equipment is great. But I wasn't expecting they would think I needed so much human support. I'm glad I already have a VA to do some of the leg work to make changes happen. And I'm hugely glad that Michelle from This Is Me agency has my back (and my ATW paperwork) 
3. I've now got to get my head round how to run a business in a way that makes best use of the support. As someone whose skill set does not include people management or planning my work in a way that makes me accountable to others, that's frankly terrifying. 

I'm grateful for all the supportive people around me who see the side I'm not seeing right now. The strong, influential woman, forging a way through difficult terrain that others have said is impenetrable to make it easier for others to do the work of clearing a comfortable, even path for others. It's not easy trying to change the world age 58 with ongoing health limitations. 

I will never know how much of my refusal to give up is down to personality, how much is upbringing and how much is because I'm autistic and ADHD. But the bottom line is that ///

I am Anne. 

2022 was and is a tough and unexpected year. But I'm still inching forward to the goal of a world where there are no additional barriers to starting a business just because you don't fit someone's idea of what a business person should look, sound, think or work like. 

I don't believe in fortune telling. However, I am confident that in 2023 Anne will continue to be Anne which means progress will be made towards that goal. 

[and it's time to update the blurb about me. Still middleaged, still a mum, but everything else has changed!]

Canaries down the coalmine

 What comes to mind when you think about neurodivergent people?

Some of the current stories are about our 'superpowers'. Others are about the things we struggle to do that neurotypical people can do with ease. There are stories about us transforming board rooms and working strategically. There are stories about our serious over-representation in the criminal justice system. There are stories of parents seeking 'cures' for us. There are desperately sad stories of us taking our own lives. 

And, do you know what?

These are stories that can be told within any neurotype, within any culture. The stories are not unique to neurodivergent people.

Even in Wales, where I live as an *AuDHDer and **autrepreneur, my experiences are of the same kind as everyone else in Wales. Where my experiences differ is in their intensity.

What I mean is, I get sensory overload going into a supermarket. The lights, the noise, the people moving unpredictably, the colours, the smells. Everyone is capable of getting sensory overload. Put anyone in a psychodelic intense sensory experience and crank up the volume and at some point it will get too much. 

The level that incapacitates me could merely reduce your wellbeing and efficiency slightly. 

I am the canary down the coalmine. I am your early warning signal that an environment is unhealthy for all. The whiff of carbon monoxide may not harm you but it reduces your effectiveness and wellbeing. You won't even notice unless you have a canary with you who falls off its perch. 

[as an aside, did you know that birds down coalmines had tiny oxygen masks to resuscitate them? You can even see one in the Science and Industry Museum. I so wish public spaces had 'neurodivergent resuscitors' for us to recover when exposed to sensory overload. One day...]

My point is that neurodivergent people do not need 'special design' for our 'special needs'. We are the canaries down the coalmine. You need what we need; you just don't get affected as badly as us. 

Neurodivergent design is neuroinclusive design, the foundation of universal design. If it works for the canaries, it works for the miners. Design an environment that keeps canaries on their perch and everyone will be healthier and more productive. 

*someone who is both autistic and ADHD

** an autistic entrepreneur

Meet The Duck and the Living Lab

*Don't worry, this isn't a blog about vivisection*

I'm not sure if there's an official definition of a Living Lab but I'm very sure there isn't for a Meet The Duck day - at least not until today - because it's a new thing.

First, say hi to Ed, the Executive Duck.

The computer world has the concept of 'rubber duck debugging' and the ADHD world has the concept of 'body doubling'. Ed is the product of my curiousity: what happens if, instead of talking though a problem, you tell a rubber duck what you are supposed to be doing then sit the rubber duck in your line of sight as you work. 

It is working for me. In fact, it is working so well that when I want a bit of downtime and I haven't finished my list of tasks, I have to hide Ed. 

I'm working on an auditory equivalent as not everyone relies on visual cues as strongly as me, to see whether putting on a specific playlist can provide a 'body double'. A wonderful entrepreneur friend tried it last week on her admin day and achieved more with less stress by using a gentle audio cue.

Which gets us to the concept of a Living Lab.

A small group of us are using our curiosity, knowledge and personal experience to develop and iterate ideas faster than any formal research programme. It's what I call #RealTimeResearch. What turns this into a Living Lab is that we are in the process of starting a membership organisation called NeuDICE, the Neurodivergent and Inclusive Community of Entrepreneurs, thanks to the support of UnLtd and Social Firms Wales through the Welsh Gov funded Ecwiti award scheme.

NeuDICE will be a Living Lab where we ideate, iterate and implement - or, in English, a place where we come up with ideas, try them out on ourselves in real-time, and when we find something that seems good-enough to release into the wider world - well, off it goes!

It's early days as yet. We are still working on ways to capture the learning as we go. In the medium term, we aim to set up INDIE, the Institute for Neurodivergent and Inclusive Entrepreneurship. INDIE will take on the evidence, evaluation and research function leaving NeuDICE free to crack on being curious and trying things out. In the immediate future, we are just using Miro boards to document thinking and findings as we go along.

Remember Ed, the Executive Duck? 

On Wednesday 24th August and Friday 2nd September we are trying out Meet The Duck days in Swansea. The concept is that people book themselves into the same co-working space and bring their rubber duck. By 'people' I mean those freelancers and microbusiness owners who are already on board with the concept of a space designed for neurodivergent entrepreneurs and open to all and are just waiting to sign up for membership to NeuDICE. 

Those days we will be testing:

• does productivity increase when we meet in a shared space, all knowing that we are there to crack on with jobs we've been postponing?
• does the visual of sitting rubber ducks on our desks help build a sense of belonging to a community?
• are the provisional rules* working in the way we think they will?

*provisional rules:

• No speaking to anyone when they are sat at their desk. Comms will be via a virtual 'mirror' co-working space in the NeuDICE Discord server. This includes when you walk into the space. The only exception is that you can approach Zed when you arrive if you aren't sure about anything (Zed is the executive duck wearing dark shades - Zed belongs to the person who arranged the Meet The Duck day). If you just want to say hi to people when you arrive - that's what the Discord server is for.
• If you would like company when you take a break, drop a message into the virtual space, say how long you think you'll be on your break and be upfront if there's anything you'd like to pick people's brains about or enthuse about while on your break. 
• No moving into anyone's personal space. For us, that means staying at least two arms-lengths from anyone else's body.
• Conversational menus are welcomed [This is a credit-card sized list of topics you'd enjoy talking about if you find yourself taking a break the same time as someone else] It saves the anxious pressure of small talk. 
• Stimming is welcomed. Negotiating a way for everyone to be comfortable in the space if one person's stimming causes another person's sensory overload is also welcomed. If it's easier, this can be broached via Zed.
• Wearing noise-cancelling headphones is highly recommended because a) it's hard to work in total silence b) each person has their own optimal kind of sounds when working and c) people will be making and taking calls at their desk.
• Treat the space as an enclosed public space. So follow the noise-pollution, eating and behaviour rules you'd follow if you were sat on a bus or in a waiting room with strangers. 

If you live in or near Swansea and you want to take part in the Meet The Duck days, you can leave a comment here, message @welshflier on twitter or connect with Anne Collis on LinkedIn. 

Categorising, drawing, and an autism diagnosis

 My first degree was botany, back in the 1980s. We learned classification. Most of the time, we looked for particular features to say 'is this'; sometimes we looked for absence of features to say 'not this'. 

Fast forward to my first art class since school, a one-off taster to celebrate the new millenium. I learned you can draw by looking what is inside the lines; but it can be more effective to get the shape by looking at what is outside the lines.

I am autistic. I know that because I looked for the features that say 'is this'. To be autistic is to possess a variety of features, traits, ways of seeing the world that are sufficiently distinctive to allow classification as 'autistic'. 

I have autism. I know that because the NHS looked for features that say 'not this'. The clinical diagnositc process starts with a presumption of what 'normal' means and then looks for features and traits that are considered 'not normal'. My diagnostic process was for autism, so the process looked for ways that autistic people are typically 'not normal'. If it had been the diagnostic process for ADHD, the process would have looked for other ways in which I was typically 'not normal'. [I opted not to repeat the diagnostic process with a different team with a different ethos, given all that is on offer locally for adults with ADHD that isn't available from the autism service for those with AuDHD = both autistic and ADHDer - is medication]

I find this difference between being autistic and having autism is easiest to understand through the lens of neurodiversity. 

When I say I am autistic, I am saying that variation in ways of perceiving, making sense of and interacting within the world is naturally occuring. I am an orange in the fruitbowl of life where variation in types of fruit is naturally occuring. 

When I am told I have autism, they are saying that there is a normal (neurotypical) and that's not me.  I am neurodivergent. I do not fit their model of normal. I am an orange in a fruitbowl where apples are the only permitted fruit. 

One day, when societies recognise the naturally occuring variety of neurotypes, to say someone is neurodivergent will be meaningless because there will be no neurotypical and therefore no divergence from the typical. 

In the meantime, I am proudly neurodivergent. I believe society needs people who see social issues from multiple perspectives and can co-create solutions. This means society needs a diversity of people with the full diversity of neurotypes working together on these social issues. In some places, this is called thought-diversity (as opposed to group-think) or having different cognitive maps (as opposed to sharing a team cognitive map). 

The bottom line is that if society keeps thinking using a limited set of perspectives, society will keep getting the same old results. Problems that have defied solution will continue to defy solution. 

Perhaps the first step towards this future would be switching to a 'is this' form of classification that values each person for who they are, rather than a 'not this' that defines people by what they are not. 

Who knew that a 1980s botany course, drawing on 17th century botanical principles, could be so relevant to policy design in 2022?